Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like your heart was breaking into a hundred thousand pieces?

Have you ever hurt yourself trying to put the pieces back together?

Have you ever felt like you would just keep crying until your eyes went blind?

Have you ever gone to bed crying and woke up realizing that the tears never stopped?

Have you ever felt like hurting someone so badly because they hurt you first?

Have you ever felt like screaming out loud because you were so angry but yet couldn’t do it?

Have you ever felt so fake because even though you dislike someone, you still had to smile?

Have you ever felt so disgusted because the person you thought was amazing turned out to be an asshole?

Have you ever felt so disappointed because you lost people whom you thought were your friends?

Have you ever felt that the emptiness inside your heart would swallow you whole?

Have you ever felt that if you disappeared from the face of the earth, no one would notice?

Have you ever gone from admiration to disappointment with a single sentence?

Have you ever gone from love to hate in a matter of seconds?

Salty or Sweet?

When you start to take everything thrown at you with a BIG pinch of salt...Life suddenly seems sweeter.

Ironic isn't it?

Jaded

I just realised that I still have so much anger and disappointment inside me. Doesn't help that new issues have caused me added anger and disappointment.

What do I need to do to really let go of all that anger and disappointment?

I'm starting to get really really jaded about things.

Unmade

Made (26^th March 2007)

You made me smile

You made me laugh

You made my heart beat a little faster

Just that few weeks ago

You made me forget my troubles

You made me throw away my sorrows

You made my eyes light up a little more

Just that few weeks ago

You made me think there could be something

You made me think there could be more

Then you made me hesitate

Because suddenly, its not there anymore

Now I’ve made myself frustrated

I’ve made myself confused

I’ve made myself into such a fool

Because I’m left wondering, is it worth it anymore?

I found out quick enough…Apparently, it’s not worth it after all.

28th March 2007 CAC Production Backstage Photos


Me and My new "Honey"


The Guys


The Girls


Jazz GUY and girls


Ahmad, Justis, Celia and Mich. Thanx for coming! Luv ya!

Proud

I now know what it feels like to be proud of your students.

I really love them. Great job guys. One more to go!

Counting down the hours

Countdown.

One more day to the unveiling of my "baby".

28th and 29th March. Maybe I should buy 4D? Haha 2829? =P

to post or not to post

I wrote something new today, not sure if i should post it yet.

Keep checking back if you're interested.

My quote of the day "When the old collide with the new, there is only chaos. "

A true friend

Snippets:-

True Friendship - Recognition

How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.

How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

True Friendship - Relationship, Trust, Accountability

True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.

End.

So, Do you have a true friend? Are you a true friend yourself?

waiting

I'm still waiting...

for some final result.

Ahmad's the man

Thank you Ahmad, For making my day with one sentence! Ahaha! The sentence in question goes like this......

Ahmad: " I think the choreo is very nice, ya! I like the choreo! "

Heehee...Feeling more secure now. So...Dancers! Do what Ahmad said ok?

Ahmad: " The choreo is very nice, so you all have to do it justice."

Big hug for Ahmad! For making my day and also for giving them extra advice from an audience view point. =D

How to touch a Girl

I think I could like you
I already do
Feelings can grow but
They can go away too
You're taking my hand
Looking into my eyes

Don't be in a rush to
get me tonight

Feel Something Happening
Could this be a spark?
To satisfy me baby
Gotta satisfy my heart

I think I could like you
but i keep holding back
cause i can't seem to tell
if you're fiction or fact
show me you can laugh
show me you can cry
show me who you really are

Do you know how to touch a girl?
If you want me so much
First i have to know
are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what's on my mind?
Or am I just for show?
You'll go far in this world
If you know how to touch a girl

- How to Touch A Girl by JoJo

My writings

Have decided to post something I wrote a while back...I'm suddenly rather emotional and I just feel like I should let this piece of writing see some daylight.

We’ve put a barrier between us

Dated: 31th December 2006

Even after so long,

I’m still aching over the loss.

The mind refuses to erase,

Memories of the hurtful truth.

Every time I see a familiar place,

The pain returns, gnawing through...

We’ve put a barrier between us, we can no longer be close.

We used to understand each other, Now we’re just on opposite coasts.

Even after so long,

I’m still aching over the loss

The heart remains saddened,

By those who have caused it pain

Every time I want to understand,

The doubt returns, trust is gone.

We’ve put a barrier between us, We can no longer be close

We used to understand each other, Now we’re just on opposite coasts.

Everything’s changed.

What we had is already gone.

.
.
.
.
.

Simplicity is the key to happyness.

.
.
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.
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Listen!!!

Went for Ryan's lyrical jazz at O school today....the choreography rocked! Ryan is like amazing! I have made it a must to attend lyrical Jazz class every Monday from now on. I haven't felt like I was REALLY PURELY dancing for quite a while already...mainly teaching everyday.

I felt it today.

A class where I could just let go and enjoy dancing to the music freely. The love for dancing always comes back after a good class like this. And oh...Ashlee from So You Think You Can Dance dropped by to take a look at the class!!

Today's dancing put me in a real good mood. I feel ready to take up any challenge thrown my way!

CAC Production, HERE I COME!

I shall leave you with the video of the song Ryan used for class today. It's "Listen" by Beyonce, taken from the Dreamgirls OST. I am in love with the song now...

Drawing strength from this video

Respect

I am very offended. This is how I feel right this moment. I am posting the following in all direct honesty.

I have been compromising, patient and tolerant enough throughout this entire period. I have attempted to work around all obstacles thrown at me so as to make everyone involved, happy. I may bitch about problems but I take them into consideration and work them to the best of my ability. This show is as much a part of me as it is a part of you all. I also want all of you to look the best you can be, within the given time we have. I know you have worked hard, but I have worked hard too. I spend long hours justifying my own reasons and considerations before I make my choices. Therefore, here is some advice I'd like to dish out - Be happy you are going on stage, do not whine about how little time you spend on stage nor about why other people are chosen instead.

All I ask for is some respect as an instructor and choreographer.

Dance

Dance to express, Not to impress.
Dance is the hidden language of the soul.
Dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.

Way back into love

Way Back Into Love - by: Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore

from the movie soundtrack of “Music and Lyrics”

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere

I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

******

I want to write lyrics like that. It's very simple yet very meaningful. You can feel the lyrics.

My first major choreographic attempt

An NUS CAC Musical Production. It's their first time staging a major production and it's showcasing performances by the various sub-clubs under CAC's wing.

I'm choreographing 3 dance items for their Jazz and Hip Hop Sub Clubs. Tickets are selling at $14 per ticket. Free seating at UCC Theatre. Whoever is interested to show support by coming to watch, feel free to post their name, contact number and number of tickets on which day under the 'comments' link, aight?

What's your take on love?

Why are some people single? Why are you with who you are with? Why do some people break up? How do some people maintain lasting relationships? Has it all to do with the word LOVE? I came across an article on the web discussing the mysteries of love and I felt it was written quite nicely...So I shall post it in a nutshell. It might all seem tougher and harsher in real life because we know it takes more than just love to maintain a relationship and the ideas in the article might sound "too ideal" but i think the article put it out in a more "philosophical and positive" way, probably that's why i like it. Take it as an encouragement.

Snippets from the article:

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and
celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

** Do not ask me why I was surfing for stuff on this topic ok? I was just bored and some past events just flooded back into my head. =)

Yeya

Crazy Ass Video! I wanna dance like her!! Yes it's a her.

Sick Cancerian

I've caught a cold. Woke up with a sore throat and runny nose this morning. Had to drag myself out of bed to go teach a Kid's Workshop for an hour. As much as I love kids, dealing with a flu, lethargy AND 20++ "hyper monkeys" is not what I'd call an easy feat. I left the place with an additional ailment - A Headache.

It's quite uncanny, me catching a cold this suddenly after I just spoke to a friend about Cancerians and their personality and lifestyle traits. We were JUST talking about how cancers seldom get fevers when they fall sick. Its more wet aka they catch a cold and "tada!! I wake up with cold symptoms the very next mornng." Well, its also been said that cancers are very receptive to forces and close to psychic...maybe that's why I "attracted" the cold so fast. Hahaha....Been reading too much horoscope of late, I'm spouting nonsense.

But one thing is very true though. Me and Val are both cancers and we just realised that both of us are so ALIKE its scary. The way we think, the way we feel, the things/people we like etc. are all the SAME kind!!!

Anyways, let's stop freaking you all and myself out. A picture spree is what I feel like right now. Enjoy the pictures while I go tinker with my new N80 phone. Mwahahah.

Jim Beam Heats - 9th Feb

"Joggers and a fat MC? Opps!"


"Touch it, Bring it, Babe..."


"Suck it in, suck it in, suck it in!"


Jim Beam Finals - 23rd Feb

"The girls and Awi"


"Awi and me"


"Me and Mag. Luv ya babe!"


"Let's show em some body building poses, Girls!"


"Another Up your nose photo..."


"Ok...one sleeve in...*sweats*"


"Ok...other sleeve in..."


"Phew! Now just look smug!"


"1st Runners Up-B.I.G"


Jitterbugs Dance Day - 11th March

"Tina and a tired looking Me"


"Tina and pseudo-Bf Fen"


The new dress I bought - 11th March


For my narcissistic self, a picture from my own makeover photo shoot. =P

Performance

Birthday Bash Performance Clip: Urban Mix



Lots of feelings, not a word to express. As, such..I will not blog much tonight.

Just watch the clip.

Dance

Do your bit for charity this Sunday. Be spoilt for choice as you get to sample a buffet of all genres of dance at the Jitterbugs Open Dance Day for a small fee of $10. Event runs from 10am to 5pm.

Trivia:I'll be at the front door collecting money. =)

Constipated Faces

After some late night photo viewing at the Dbl-O website...I have only one question in my head.

"Why does the JimBeam photographer like to take pictures from the centre and upwards??"

Don't you know that it'll make all the faces of dancers look constipated? What's so nice about looking up someone's nostrils? Hahaha...I thought photography was more than just squatting on the floor and pointing the camera lens upwards while clicking away randomly? Sorry if I offend any photographers here ay!

But sad to say...this guy's probably not specialising in Dance/Movement Photography.

Here's a picture I'm gonna share....beware! Its ugly!


Haven't been sleeping much of late....sigh. Gotta be at NUS 4 hours from now.

One picture is worth a thousand words

I feel like that lately.

Johnny's Entertainment

If anyone looks and wonders who those pretty boys on my hp/pc wallpapers are...well they are from a hugely successful japanese entertainment company that specialises in churning out boybands full of pretty boys who can sing, dance, do stunts, act and host.

It's not really a serious obsession, more like nice eye candy but still I admit I have succumbed to the power that is Johnny's Entertainment.

So, in view with my video spree, here is one of their boyband's lastest Promotional Video for their newest single after a hiatus of one year.

Song: Hoshi wo Mezashite
Group: NEWS

Empty

Losing steam. Tired. Drained. Uninspired. Not motivated.

Sound familiar? It's that phase once again....i need to go on a self improvement trip soon before I lose it.

Empty. What do I need to keep going?

My friends, if you are reading this, the next time you see me...just offer me a hug. It's the next best thing to a solution. I will find the direction myself.

Online shopping

Today was my virgin attempt at Online Shopping...I hope I don't get hooked onto it. But seriously, its so much cheaper and the stuff are really quite nice. Certain clothes you can't get in Singapore as well. Now me and val are just keeping our fingers crossed that the items are in good quality! heh

Have placed my order (Thanks Val for helping!) and this is what I eagerly await to arrive in a few weeks!

The Skirt I will own soon

Actually I ordered two items...but the other item shall be kept a surprise! =) It's really pretty though!!

Apples and Wine

After a candid talk about men and women with a friend last night...I went and searched for the "Apple Tree Theory" Quote I came across before awhile back....and I found something really cute - The second Half of the quote which I never saw til now.

First Half: The "Theory"

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Second Half: The bit that made me laugh

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

=)

Everything here is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt, aight?

More Vids

KAT-TUN Debut PV - Real Face



Nice song, Cute guys, OTT(ugly??)Costumes =P
KAT-TUN and NEWS - Summary

Video Craze

I'm going on a Japanese BoyBand Video upload craze this week...love it or hate it...you decide!

First Up : The return of NEWS